"You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way,

as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman;

and grant her honor as a fellow-heir of the grace of life,

so that your prayers may not be hindered."

I Peter 3:7

Umm, I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but it didn't take my man long to figure out that I was the weaker vessel.  He's just that smart.  We married when I was nineteen (2 days after my birthday ), and he was twenty.   He must have found me on the bargain counter because I was pretty puny: strong-minded but weak as a leaky vessel.  It took years of pain, exhaustion, and depression to finally be diagnosed with  auto-immune diseases (fibromyalgia and sjogrens).  The meds helped with the symptoms, but I still operate on a slow perk (last time I checked, my blood pressure was 119 over 48).  So he picked up the slack much of our marriage.  It's a good thing he had the gift of service and found joy in spoiling me rotten.  The only problem is that now that his days are numbered, I'll have to step up to the plate after 46 of being married to a spoiler.

Laughing on a plane because my thrift store blouse

was the exact one worn by the lady across the aisle.

No brag, just fact, that my husband always honored me as a fellow-heir of the grace of life.  While in college we liked to argue theology.  (Unfortunately, somehow it seemed to happen the night before finals when we stayed up too late.) He respected my opinion, my voice in the things that mattered most.  Yes, we were young and had a lot of room to grow, but most importantly, we grew together.  There is no oppressiveness in a marriage like this as fellow heirs: no uppity or looking-downers, no under his thumbism.  And yep, he is good at prayers.

One of my favorite photos!

So if you are looking for your mate, try to imagine not just the now of your relationship, but what it will look like down the road together.  You will not be the same person and neither will your partner.  Just go down the road in the same direction with heaven in mind as fellow-heirs.  Being equally yoked means you are heading in the same, right direction; otherwise it would be ridiculous to be yoked, a push me-pull me kind of thing.  And who wouldn't want their man to be good at praying? 

 And throw in lots of jiggly laughter!